He Didn't Have Control In This Relationship. This is what He Did
This week on the show I had the privilege of speaking to Jo Weck. Jo appeared on the Bachelorette NZ last year in 2020. You might remember him being the top four dudes. And he was one of the first people Lexi Brown (The Bachelorrette) went on a date with and liked on the show.
We spoke about his time on the show, what’s it like being a bachelor, his accident on set, and fighting with over a dozen or so guys to win the heart of one lady.
He spoke of the challenges. Yes, they were many. The show itself felt like a bubble for some people. But Jo spoke about how he found it difficult not having control over how this particular relationship or dating experience was.
“For me, I’ve always had control of what’s going on in my life, being on that show it was a little bit difficult to dictate what you are doing day to day and the unknown and I think that made me step back a little bit and sort of let everything happen rather take control. And near the end I kind of was exhausted by the scenario" he said.
He thought Lexi is “an amazing girl” but there wasn’t that ‘spark’.
“I was attracted to her, she’s a beautiful girl, she was fun loving, she’s always a good time and that’s what she is, but for me, it was just not what I was looking for.”
The other challenge for Jo was getting that previous time with Lexi, to have those deep and meaningful conversations. But then when he did get the time, it wasn't enough and wasn't so natural with all the cameras pointing at him. He was not allowed to speak to Lexi if the cameras weren’t rolling.
“Sometimes you just lock face to face and you can’t see them [The cameras].
“It’s a little bazar, it’s not typically what you do when you’re trying to date someone in that scenario… it’s quite competitive”.
“The competitive side comes out as it does, and that’s probably why most of us were on that show, to be competitive, you can’t say you’re not.”
As if being on the show wasn’t hard enough for the bachelor, Jo had to deal with an injury from an accident on the ice-skating rank while on a group date with Lexi.
“I got a little of a break away, saw the goal, lined up, shot and heard this pop, snap and my knee came out of place. Hamish came to the rescue, slid into me a little bit, checked if I was okay and then it felt like I might be alright. So I got up and tried to hobble off, 'okay it’s not too serious' [he thought], carried on again and it happened again, and the damage was done, in the second time”.
The accident didn’t faze Jo off though. Thankfully he didn’t break a bone or anything, so, he carried on with the show but it was not the same.
“What I was bummed about was not being able to go on other dates. A lot of them were active, imagine if you’re trying to do bungy jumping, rock climbing, these were the dates that Hamish went on. And he did the Heli skiing. That was my dream date.”
“There was a rumour going on like someone is going on a helicopter date, then he came back and we were like ‘no way, what!’. But I was happy for him, but at the same time I was jealous. I was like awesome for you, bad for me.”
The dates were pre-planned, so no one really had control over where the Bachelorette and bachelors went.
The Home Visits
Jo was in the top four, alongside (winner) Hamish Boyt, chef Paul Patterson, and Aussie heartthrob Todd Dialectos.
And while Jo had the chance to introduce Lexi to his mother, and was confident that they would get along well, there was an interesting conversation that went down.
“You’ve always got to take someone else’s perspective and processes it and then analyse it and see what you can take out of it. And [his mother] said [Lexi] was a little bit cold on the left [where Jo was sitting during the home visit]. But previous to our conversation, I’d said to lexi … my family is really important to me it’s awesome to see when someone interested in is engaging in a conversation with them. But I think [Lexi] was just there talking to my friends and family rather than spending a lot of time with me.
So, was that the case? Or did she actually not like him?
“No, maybe she didn’t even like me,” he laughed.
“Yeah, we had a little bit of a conversation about it but in the same we had only so much [time].
Yeah, we like each other, this is nice, this could be something but you can’t have that conversation: ‘yes you’re the one’.”
“Two weeks means you’re winning; one week means you’re going home.”
Losing the connection
In terms of confidence, levels were high for Jo at the start, but then things started to dwindle when more and more guys started going on dates with the bachelorette. The more guys started to show up, the more stressful it started to be for Jo.
“In a scenario when your attention is drawn towards one person, and that one person is going on dates with other people. In the real world you say ‘hey, are you into me or not?’, but in that scenario you have to be open minded and step back and just say ‘okay’ give her the opportunity, because that is what you are here for, you have to put yourself back in the scenario of being on a reality TV show with one female, and 16 guys, it was tough.”
It was really hard for Jo not seeing Lexi, sometimes for two weeks on the show. He says that made him lose interest, like in the real world, where if you stop seeing someone after that first date or two, then things start to get a bit cold.
On having his best friend, Hamish Boyt on the show at the same time
Despite the rivalry, the two friends got on really well on and off camera. Jo says it was great having a friend to talk to about what’s going on, the feelings and when things were getting tough.
The besties didn’t realise they were both going on the same show until they were actually in the airport boarding their flight to Auckland.
“Inside the house it was awesome having him there, it was awesome having a friend I can actually talk with him, off screen, like when the cameras are away. [Tell him] this is how I feel. How are you feeling, if he was feeling a little bit down I was like yep actually you are a contender you should stay here. Think about it like this, her side of the story and then he’d comfort me if I was feeling kind of out of place a little bit.
“And the day I decided to leave I said to Lexi, look choose Hamish he is a better match for you than Todd”.
Advice from the man himself: “Make the most of the date and make her feel amazing”.
There is a good little philosophy that Jo lives by, and that’s got to do with his little dog, Matariki.
“When you get home, your pets are so happy to see you especially your dogs so let’s bring that approach when you see your friends, when you see your loved one, when you go on a date. Like get up and give them a big hug, say hi, be energetic about it.
“When you’re on a date go for a walk, that way you’re doing something active, that way you’re doing something beautiful”.